Better or Worst?

I was awaken early this morning by my mum; at about approximately 0645 hours, nearly 0700 hours. Later on when I was in my beauty sleep again, my mum rang me up on my mobile phone. Felt so frustrated but anyway, waking early is a good thing. Makes me feel fresh though I slept late last night.

When I tried to get myself back into La-La Land, many thoughts went through my mind and I was hungry. So I thought to myself, "Get up have breakfast and blog!". Since I have so many thoughts running through my head I might as well pen it down now that I have the chance too.

Here goes....

For the past three years since I started college, I realized I have changed quite a bit. And ever since I met that someone special in my life I have changed. I noticed it but never really bothered. Is it for the betterment or the opposite, I'm not to judge.

I WAS .....
1)Strong-willed
2)Determined
3)Head-strong
4)Opinionated
5)Independent
6)Feminist
7)Speak-My-Mind kinda person
8)Perfectionist

Whatever happened to me? What happened to the Felicia I knew? The Felicia I knew had a very strong character, whatever happened to her? I want her back. The Felicia I knew would not tolerate imperfections!!!! For example if a guy asked me to be his girlfriend, the first question I would ask is; "Do you smoke?". And if he says, "yes", then I would straight away answer, "Sorry but I do not accept guys who smoke." Yeah I was THAT determined before.

But now what has come of me??? I have become namby-pamby, in other words weak and emotional. That's what I feel. I was hard as a rock before. Maybe due to the hardships I had been through in my previous relationship. Now I have changed to a softy. I have become more submissive, more tolerant and I do not know what else. I told myself before that I would not end up with a smoker and here I am with one now. Hypocrite to myself so I may say. I bend the rules and expectations I had for myself.

Well I guess relationships do leave an impact on a person. But all in all, I still thank God for what I have changed into. I believe God is moulding me into a better person and I do believe God has a reason for everything that has happened or is happening. Maybe God does not want me to be so egoistic. I think God is transforming me to be a more noble person. Ever since I met my boyfriend Kin Fhai, though I call him hubby or Lao gong (in mandarin), I realized that I have changed to be more selfless, tolerant, submissive, patient, gentle, self-controlled, loving and warm. Though I have not lost all my previous characters of being strong-willed, determined and those I mentioned above. I still have them but in the amount that I need. So it was not all a bad thing to love a person that has a habit you abhor. God brought us together for a purpose and the purpose was for the betterment of the both of us in character. He changed his ways too. He might not realise but people around him and I do. And we do complement each others character without realizing it. I hope that we can work out something for his smoking habit. I'm hoping for the best outcome! And I'm glad I met him.

"If you can see an imperfect person as perfect, then that is Love!"