Answers to my decision

In my previous post, I mentioned that I did not choose my new crush; instead I chose to stay with my boyfriend. There were several reasons as to why my boyfriend had the upper hand. First, I have been with him for three years now and our relationship has been strong thus far. Second, he was the guy I chose before we were together and he is almost the perfect guy for me. There were many factors that made me decide to stay with my boyfriend. My boyfriend had the upper hand all along. It was just impossible to let someone new into my heart. Someone who do not know me inside out, someone who do no understand me as well and can read my mind. My heart could only hold a place for my boyfriend; simply because I loved him very much and he is already part of my life and that no one could replace him even in the midst of me giving him up. My crush put a lot of effort into winning my heart but to no avail. My heart just could not be shaken. No one replace Fhai from my heart. I believe that God was actually guarding my heart.

There were several factors as to why I did not give in to my crush. He was not the type of guy I wanted because I have already found the guy I want. Then comes our thinking, our mindset differ. He is a very very good guy. Very boyfriend material. But I guess it is not our fate. Furthermore religion was an issue for me. I'm sure he will find someone one day. He will find his missing rib, that fits perfectly like I did. I feel really sorry for him. Like I said it is just not our fate. We can be best of friends but I do not see any future cause I found my soul mate.
Love is seeing an imperfect person as perfect. That is LOVE.

1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 8

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Finally I Have My Answer

This morning I came across a bulletin in my Friendster. It quotes "Never leave the one you LOVE for the one you LIKE. Because the one you LIKE will leave you for the one they LOVE." This quote really clarify all my doubts and it strengthen my decision of giving my hand in marriage to my husband-to-be. Things were pretty bad for my bf and I last month. Thank God I made the right decision to stay with him and not let my new fling get in the way. Thank God for wisdom. My bf made a promise to me though and apparently he has changed and I believe in him. My mum can be a witness. I thank God for a wonderful mum I have because she is involve in almost every part of my life. Even in my courtship. I feel blessed to have a mum like her.

Fhai, I just want to take this opportunity to apologize to you. I know I have inflicted much pain and hurt on you in our recent conflict but I never intended to cause you all those pain. I had to tell you my feelings. I had to be honest with you because I cannot keep my feelings bottled up any longer. Fhai, you have been the best thing that happened in my life and I thank you for taking the effort to improve on the relationship and taking it to the next level. If given any chance, I would not want to leave you; even though there were times that I felt like giving up on you but I thank God that He gave us this chance to work things out. Fhai, my heart will always be yours and I'm very sure that no one can replace you in my heart. I can justify that because I still cannot forget you and love anyone else besides you even though I had a crush on someone. He cannot replace you in my heart. You are the only person my heart loves. So do not worry that my admirer can change my heart because I know no one can replace you in my heart. He tried but failed. God also is guarding my heart. Last but not least, I love you...

P/s: Mum you might be reading this I know. I love you mum and thanks for being involve in my love life. I want you to be involve in every area of my life even though I'm married. I love you mum.


"Finally I see and found the Light at the end of the tunnel"